It seems fitting that the first review I write for several years (since 2007, I think) should be for a story that is almost my all time favourite Doctor Who story ever, right from when I first saw it (aged 7 or 8?). It also happens to be one of new Doctor Who Matt Smith's favourite stories. So I'm not biased in any way.
The first death in Tomb of the Cybermen occurs at around 5 minutes into the story, and after this, the killings continue at a rate of roughly 1 every 10/15 minutes. Good innings.
The format is traditional; the Doctor and co gatecrash an expedition of curious explorers/arceologists intent on discovering the secrets of a long dead civilisation. It's funny right from the start, with the Doctor and Jamie bouncing off one another quite happily and joking with Victoria to make her feel welcome (the character must have been very intimidated, so the Doctor/Jamies's gentle joking with her is quite sweet). The crew of the expedition bicker like a group of school children let loose at the annual trip to Alton Towers.
I'm going to take this opportunity to make my feelings about the Cybermen known. I love the old style Cybers, their weird half human sing song voices, the way they look like they've been cobbled together out of tin foil and bits of old vacuum cleaner. I have to admit I've never really liked any Cyberman story after this one, although one of the Colin Baker ones was ok. I think it's the one that involves the TARDIS turning itself into an organ (no, not that kind of organ...). I absolutely can't stand the new series Cybermen. Cybermen should look like human beings that have been stripped of everything that makes them human, and yet are still pitifully, painfully recognisibly humanoid. They should not look like giant silver robot men.
Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes, my final mention of the post 2005 series (hopefully). Watching a Patrick Troughton story while in the middle of Matt Smith's first series really brings home how heavily young Smiffy has borrowed from the second Doctor in creating the character of his own Doctor, with a little of Tom Baker's wide eyed looniness thrown in.
Once the chracters get into the building and split off into various rooms, the building becomes a sort of funhouse of death, what with the target practise machine and the dreaded Cybermats. Bless.... every snot nosed nine year old will want one.
I love Patrick Troughton's 'Bumper book of alien menaces' which makes an appearance when Victoria asks him what a Cybermat is. It's a strangely tender moment between the two characters, out of the rest of the action, and you can almost see Matt Smith's Doctor recreating the scene with his new friend Miss Pond. Oh, sorry, I said I wasn't going to mention the 'new' series agan, didn't I? Never mind. Another lovely moment between the Doctor and Victoria comes later in the story when the other characters are sleeping, and the Doctor talks about his family and how he barely remembers them, while Victoria still feels the new pain of her father's death.
I just love Jamie's reaction when Victoria says she'd rather stay with the Doctor than go back to the TARDIS. Poor sod, if only he knew how longer he would be stuck with the Doctor, clearing up his mess. That sigh is priceless. In my opinion Jamie MCrimmon is one of the best companions ever. My next review is going to be for an early Sarah Jane Smith story. Uncle Steve... can Jamie can have his own spin off series please?
I've never been able to work out Kaftan's motives. Is she having an affair with Kleig or what? Perhaps he's just offering her lots of money to help him. She's so much a pantomime villian you half expect her to turn into Yo Sammity Sam halfway through the story. "Vhere's that pesky Roadvunner gone, ya?" (ok, I'm of German stock (and French). I can take the piss if I want to... if indeed Kaftan/Kleig are German?) Kleig is ok, he's just mad, but Kaftan confuses me.
The sight of the frozen tomb is beautiful, especially with that eerie music playing over it. The music is kind of creeping me put so far. It's sparse and sinister, and tinkly, the kind of music that says 'something bad is going to happen... or is it? Oh hang on, yes it is. Oh dear'. It's somewhat akin to the Salad Fingers franchise. No wonder Viner keeps gibbering. The bit where the Cybermen start thawing out and moving about in their little cubicles always gives me the creeps. Oh dear, Viner's just been shot. Probably for the best. He'd probably have had a brain embolism when he saw the Cybers popping out of their cling film covered cages. As an aside, how come Victoria is such a good shot and manages to hit the Cybermat on the first go? She's a well brought up, upper class Victorian girl. Who the hell taught her to shoot like that?
Quotable quote that never was:
"I am Eric Kleig. I am your ressurector. Now you will help us."
"Not til I've had a cup of coffee I'm bloody not. You try crouching in a little airless cupboard for thousands of years. You'd have a stonking great headache too, you little oik. Get me a bloody coffee NOW! And I want a Garibaldi." (yes, I know. I've been watching way too much Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes. Mind you, I looked up Garibaldies and they sound revolting.)
Speaking of heads, what is with the Cyberleaders head? Does he just have a bigger brain than the others? Or is it a crown of some sort? Whatever it is, it makes him look faintly ridiculous. Perhaps someone should give the Cyberleader some singing lessons and a pink feather boa. Then he can sing Gloria Gaynor properly.
Poor old Jamie's knees must be getting a wee bit nippy in that kilt. Perhaps he shoud have worn tights, like Amy.
Toberman's is a tale that is beautifully tragic. The way he turns on the Cybermen at the end and gives his life for his shipmates even though they never treated him like one of them is a million times better than the Yvonne Hartman cyberthing turning on the Cybermen in Doomsday, and crying, of all things. No way would they have been able to portray a black man as a servile simpleton nowadays. But then I'm part of the last generaion that has not had political correctness rammed down their throats from the age of 3.
Anyway, before I get arrested by Gordon Brown's ghost, back to the subject. Onto episode 4 now, and someone else has just copped it. Nearly. I'm really not sure about the rather obvious mind meld between the Cyberleader and Toberman. I think we would have got the same message without the stupid wavy lines flitting across the screen. I find the 'special effects' have ruined this story a bit, consisting as they do of the aforementioned flickering lines, that have obviously been added using string or lines drawn on the finished film. I know, I'm starting to nitpick now I've got over all my squeeing and gushing about how great this story is. What til I set myself loose on the Eleventh Hour, or heaven forbid a series overview of the 2010 series...
Why on Earth does the Cyberleader trust the Doctor to help him? I know he doesn't have emotions and he's not exactly himself when the Doctor tricks him into the recharging machine, but still... and doesn't the Doctor realise how majorly pissed off the guy is going to be when he gets out of the machine and finds Jamie has been practising on him for his boy scouts knotwork badge?
Quotable quote that never was:
"You will remain still"
"Right, yes, of course. I'll just stand here, shall I, while you crush my neck beneath your bare hands? Marvellous."
Time for the awards now:
Kaftan = Best death ever. I'm only surprised they didn't put out gym mats for her to fall on so she could make herself a bit more comfortable.
Best put down: "That's alright Captain. It's nice that we have your superior strength to fall back on, should we need it."
Yes, go Victoria! I am so going to use that one on a night out.
Speaking of awards, as I write the first draft of this, on the backs of old job application letters, it appears that Simon Cowell has just won the Outstanding Contribution award at the BATFAs and they are showing a montage of his finest moments. It's just a shame Leona Lewis isn't one of them...)
Oh, delightful. We've reached the point of the story when the Cybermen start dying and that nasty yellow custardy foam starts oozing out of them. Anyone for a fish finger?
"When I say run, run."
Poor Cyberleader. I almost felt sorry for him when the Doctor and Jamie gave him the slip. He looks like the lumbering overweight child who always spends ages as 'it' in games of tag.
Following the usual format, only two of the original intrepid explorers survive the expedition. Presumably this means they won't run out of White Zinfandel on the journey home.
"That really is the end of the Cybermen, isn't it, Doctor?"
No. You know that from the closing montage of the escaped Cybermat, Toberman's prone body lying in the sand, and the final close up of the image of a cyberman on the front of the building. In my opinion, this story marks the last 'proper' Cyberman story, but it is by no means the last we will see of the buggers.
By Rose Ghost
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